When I was in high school, Dennis asked me to go to the Beach Boys concert. It was 1988 and the band was touring to promote its new album. This was the album with the song Kokomo from the movie Cocktail.

I was wearing white loafer type shoes, jeans, and a peach sweater. My hair was as it always was in 1988. I did nothing more than wash it, comb it, and let it dry naturally. I did not use hair product beyond a tiny bit of mousse and I certainly hardly ever wore makeup.

The doorbell rang and when I went to answer the door to greet Dennis, my mother Ann saw me and said, “Aren’t you going to at least put on lipstick?”

Why on earth would I do that? I think my mother thought I was going on a date and maybe want to kick my beauty routine up a notch. I didn’t see it that way. Dennis was just a guy from my high school.

But wait, maybe that was a date.

I started thinking about dates and dating recently when I recommended to my friend Christopher that he avoid dating while he went through an uncertain time in his life, I told my friend Steve I was glad he was dating after being divorced for more than one year, and my aunt Cara said she was glad she was married and no longer dating.

Date and Dating. What exactly is it?

I have a lot of male friends. In fact, I might have more male than female friends right now. I eat meals with them, go to art shows, or exchange text messages. But when I grab a beer with one of them, is the outing a date? If we do it more than once in a few week, are we dating?

My answer is no.

A date is going somewhere or doing something with the intent to get to know each other with the thought of, “Hmmmmm. Maybe I am romantically interested in this person.”

More of the same get togethers mean that two people are “dating.” It doesn’t  matter if nothing naughty has happened. If they’ve been on several dates together and are making it clear to each other that they’re interested in more than just being friends, then they’ve indeed bought tickets for the Dating Train.

With my definition it’s also possible to be dating more than one person at a time.

Just wear this lipstick for my mother Ann.