By: On the DL

I was racking my brain trying to think of a topic for my debut article when Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical” popped into my head. Not sure why that happened. My brain is funny like that sometimes. But the tune turned out to be a brilliant muse.

Now, as much as I love exercise and cheesy music videos of Olivia sweatin’ it out in a gym, I’m not going to talk about that kind of physical. That’s right, I’m talking about sex (or anything related to sexual activity).

I remember when I was in high school, the thought of being “physical” with someone was pretty overwhelming. Up until then I’d only hugged, held hands, and shared a quick makeout session on a local amusement park ride with my junior high boyfriend. Putting the sheer biology of it all aside, the thought of actually being with a guy, of “going all the way,” or even just getting to second or third base came with a variety of emotions. There was fear, doubt, excitement, hopefulness, anticipation, love… the list goes on and on.

I remember telling my high school friends I wanted to wait until I was “in love” to have sex for the first time. And I did. Granted, losing it to your boyfriend in the top bunk of a smelly dorm room your sophomore year of college isn’t exactly a dream come true, but we loved each other and I was happy I waited to share that experience with someone I cared so deeply for. We were together for several years, doing the whole “college break” thing every six or seven months just to make sure we weren’t missing out on anything. But for the most part we were pretty monogamous.

As many college couples do, we eventually went our separate ways, and that’s when I noticed things starting to change. As the years went on, the idea of waiting to get physical with someone seemed to be disappearing. Suddenly guys not only want to get physical before they know more than my name, but many of them expect it.

Sure, I played into it by making out with a guy I can’t even name at a bar and engaging in one or two one-night stands. I thought it was fun, ya know, college type stuff.

But it didn’t end when I graduated.

I’ve noticed some guys will make the effort to feed you cheesy pickup lines or do something to make you feel special (I had someone fly from another state and send me a coffee maker in the mail!) but in the end the true intention always makes its way to the surface.

It’s easy these days to see being sexual with someone as purely physical, no emotions, no strings attached. And if that’s what makes you happy then I say to each his or her own! It’s your body! Do what you want with whoever you want!

But I can’t see it that way for me. Never could. I’ve tried. Believe me.

It took me a long time to realize that nearly all of my failed relationships started with getting physical.

And it took stumbling upon someone who didn’t want to get physical from the get go to remind me of how great the physical can be. It’s amazing when you’re actually invested in it and you actually take time to evaluate someone, to see if they’re worthy of having a piece of your body, your soul, and ultimately your heart.

So, you still want to get physical? Applications accepted here.