Lately, my power of memory has been incredible. It’s not that I’m suddenly remembering vivid and strong details of a person, place, or thing from my childhood. It’s as though times and events in my life that I thought were buried or unimportant are suddenly happening with ferocity and drama right now.

The romantic relationships that were not an emotional big deal when they were happening are suddenly the most important relationships ever. The medical issue that ended up okay is now a trauma. The emotions of a marriage and divorce a couple years ago are as raw as though they’re occurring this week. The toxic workplace and coworkers are back at this very moment.

To some extent, everyone goes through this.

It starts with a trigger. Your ex-wife tells you she’s engaged. Suddenly, you’re reliving your marriage for better or worse. Your co-worker announces he has prostate cancer. You begin to remember what it was like to be a caregiver to your dying grandmother. You hear about a teacher arrested for molestation and you think about what your uncle did to you. Before you know it, you’re awash in memories triggering sadness, fear, or anger.

Even worse is when more than one of those events happens at the same time. One is bad enough for a person. Put them all together and, as my aunt Cara says, “Wowzerini!” It’s a lot to take.

Now you will feel as though nothing will get better, everything is complicated, and you’re overthinking every detail of your life.

Jonathan Cainer is a British astrologer. These were recent comments he made about memories:

Some emotionally resonant memories now need to be buried. There is no point in dredging up the same old stuff, day after day. One or two recollections, though, deserve to be treasured. Go over a particular piece of ground, and you may discover something that still lies covered beneath it that you can most profitably unearth. How can you tell what to discard and what to hang on to? That’s easy. If the recollection involves pain, put it behind you. If it triggers a sense of pleasure, see what more can be learned from it.

These are words not just for a Capricorn. These are words for everyone. That includes me.

I recently sent a text message to my best friend Randy listing the life-changing events that had shaped my last few years. He responded, “That’s quite a resume!”

Yes, but do I really want to print and distribute that resume on fancy paper to everyone?

No.

If the recollection involves pain, cross it off the resume.

But it’s not easy to actually let go of a memory, especially when it’s bad. We, including me, grab ahold of painful memories like toxic little buoys. They’re ways of excusing current bad feelings. “Well, of course I feel sad about ABC, look what happened in 1999 with XYZ.”

But at some point it’s time to let go of the buoy and swim away.