Going on a date is not a big deal. And it bugs me when people make it a big deal.

It’s a gathering of two people to talk and see if there’s a romantic spark or at least the ability to tolerate each other enough to do it again. It’s not an occasion to send out a press release.

Those who think the first date is a HUGE deal are on their way to Taylor Swift Town. This is the “town” where people get way too invested in the outcome of the date and make the relationship a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Please stop singing about someone you barely dated, Taylor Swift. You’re making dating seem like a HUGE deal.

I was reading message boards in the last couple months as singer and songwriter Taylor Swift started getting a lot of press coverage for her autobiographical songs that focus on some man (or boy) who she supposedly dated.

One person, a guy called Jon, posted,

Swift is turning into the stalker ex-girlfriend. You know the one that acts like a break up is not fair and does everything she can to get even with you. She is the girl who falls in love on the first date with every guy that she goes out with. Taylor is plain crazy!

I don’t agree that Swift is crazy but I totally know the people Jon mentioned. Those are the ones who take the first or subsequent dates so seriously that the whole event is set up to fail because of high expectations. They do seem to fall in love with every guy or gal they go out with.

My co-worker Tracy was going to go out with the neighbor of Jennifer, a  mutual coworker.

“Is this the big weekend?” people asked Tracy all week as they passed her desk. She would look so nervous and excited at the same time. “Oh yes.”

After the first date, Jennifer was often taking Tracy aside to ask breathlessly how the relationship was going along. It seemed such a BIG DEAL.

Tracy and the guy did go out a few more times. Then, after a few weeks, the gentleman in question unceremoniously told Tracy he was getting back together with an ex-girlfriend.

Tracy was crushed. Jennifer was up in arms over the indignity.

Too much pressure on first date = early destruction of relationship

No, neither Tracy nor Jennifer did anything to get even with the neighbor and I would never ever classify Tracy as crazy. She is not a crazy ex.

But I bet she was way more hurt by the end of this brief love affair than she might have been if it was perceived by her and others as something fun and stress-free. The pressure was on from the moment they agreed to meet up.

Stop making it all such a big deal and for heaven’s sake don’t write a song about every Tom, Dick, and Harriet who took you out for ice cream.