I’ve never been married. I’ve never really been close to getting married, but these days I’m dating a man who just might be my future husband.

Most of my adult life I thought about what it would be like to make that commitment, although I must admit a lot of those thoughts focused on wedding dresses, a ring, reception colors, bridesmaids. I thought about, you know, the fun wedding stuff.

Now that I’m older, I realize there’s a lot more to getting married than that one special day. Even now as he and I progress in our relationship, the I’s are slowly becoming We’s.

It’s exciting, but it’s also a bit scary. I’m realizing more and more that if and when that day comes, marriage really will be a lifelong commitment to compromise, communicate effectively, and consider the other person in your daily, monthly, and annual activities.

We still have several steps to go before marriage enters the picture, but I can feel the forward movement in our talks about upcoming weddings, vacation plans, even holiday plans nine or 10 months from now. Suddenly we’re talking about sharing those holidays, splitting time with family, giving up one trip so we can take another together, etc. I welcome it with open arms and an open heart, but most of all I’m keeping open eyes.

Now I’m so much more mindful of what it truly means to not only commit to someone, but to also make them a permanent part of one’s life and to share everything.

I think now about transforming the mine into ours, the me into us and the I into we.