Inevitably, in all of our lives, we begin to fester in a situation that’s shelf-life has expired. Most commonly that situation is a relationship.

Sometimes it’s hard to remove ourselves from a person we’ve become attached to. You can’t break away and many of us are compelled to drive by their home, sit at your favorite bar or restaurant hoping they stop by, or even go so far as to invite them to a party or a holiday get-together. But then—horror—you see them walk through the door with someone else.

Who is that guy?

WHY DIDN’T SHE CALL ME BACK?!?

Tears. Phone calls to mom. Booze. Staring at the wall for hours, laundry hasn’t been done in a month, and on and on it goes.

Ahem, time to wake up. That’s right! Off the couch! Wait! Do these three things first!

First: No more contact, no more invites. Don’t send them an email or a text. As a matter of fact, delete all their information. Sucks, right? You are the former or soon-to-be-former boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, partner, or just plain friend. This does apply to platonic friends. Control the situation. Cut off the supply.

Second, you need to surround yourself with people who actually care about you or want to be around you. Family, blood brothers or sisters, the co-worker who always wants to get a drink after work (sometimes during work). Yes, they may be kind of plain-vanilla boring and they might not have that same bag of awesome you thought applied to whomever-it-was. But right now, you need safety. You need is consistency and to be around people who are kind of predictable or at least comforting.

Third, and most importantly, you need to stop thinking about revenge and move on completely. The hardest part of any break-up is getting in better physical, emotional, and social shape. Living well is the best revenge. And the only way to do that is to make peace with yourself.

We are all on the same strange journey around the sun. Each of us is presented the same set of hurdles and paths.

But the big difference between people is the direction we take. Is the shortcut the best for you now? Will the harder road lead you to a better road? Should you stomp on that person’s heart and bring a new boyfriend to the bar he works at and make out in front of him while he pours drinks?

Do people actually act like that? Yep. But not you, right?