One of my university colleagues posted a provocative question on his Facebook page. Scott was inspired by recent debates and laws about same-sex marriage and asked the following:

For your consideration. Does same sex marriage have to be “gay?” Considering the number of sexless and marriages of convenience, could two persons of the same sex be married and not gay?

Scott’s questions led to a robust conversation.

Jillian: You mean could two people not have sex and still be or want to get married? Yes. Being gay isn’t solely predicated on who you have sex with, but attraction and love.

Art: I was married for about 12 years. It was the same sex most of the time.

Edna: Two people who truly love each other should be allowed to have some kind of legal union validating them as couple whether or not they have sex. It’s unfair some are trying to change the way to view traditional marriage as it has always been between a man and a woman until death do them part under God. Legal union and marriage are two different things in my eyes. I am somewhat traditional.

Alan: Marriage has always seemed like a contract to me. I’m a guy in my twenties who has had rotten luck with women since I began dating them. I always found marriage to be rather ridiculous. But I don’t see why a contractual agreement to be with another individual ought to exclude people because it doesn’t jive with some religious beliefs. This ought not affect a country where God is not the key enforcer of laws.

Human Rights Campaign urged Facebook users who support same-sex marriage to change their profile pictures to this red equal sign image

Edna:  Traditional marriage was formed when law and state were one. Marriages used to be arranged by parents to ensure the security of their children. State and church were more entwined and divorce was more of a taboo. I’m glad divorce is legal because there are unhappy people in some unions, but I also wish people who get married under God would go through marriage counseling and get to know each other well before the promise to stay together forever. I think people marry more for love than in the past. People enter into “contracts” as a form of protection for their assets and benefits. It’s quite complicated.

Luther: Is there civil code, law or statute stating in order for a marriage to occur that the two parties must be sexual partners? It seems having sex often with someone leads to marriage. So why does sex have to be a factor for a marriage to begin? It’s just what the world expects so surely any two adult people of any gender should be able to enter into a marriage contract.

Edna: I don’t know the facts, but in the past a married couple could annul the marriage if it wasn’t consummated. That means the couple could void the marriage if they didn’t have sex.

Jillian: Alan and Luther are spot on. And if you’ve ever been divorced, you know marriage is little more than a contract in the eyes of the law. If your marriage involves love, sex, partnership then you’ve got a contract with bonuses!

Beth: Many have blurred the line between church and state. They should be totally separate. If two adults decide to “wed” their assets together, the love factor is a separate issue. Who are we to mandate behavior between consenting adults? I’ve never been married and have lamented this loss. Although as with many supposed “losses” in my life, the consensus on marriage from my friends is how much it’s over-rated and can be a pain in the ass.

What do you think? Should two non-gay men or two non-gay women be “allowed” to marry?