You’ve heard the phrase “he’s just not that into you.”

I argue a guy can avoid you because he once was too into you.

At least twice recently, I had conversations with women about men from their pasts. In both cases my two friends knew the men from workplaces, were close friends or at least kind of fooled around with them, had lost touch over the years, and had slightly reconnected via Facebook

But both female friends said roughly the same thing to me.

“He doesn’t show any interest in maintaining the friendship we used to have.”

My response to both of the women is “He was too into you.”

One female friend is now married with four sons. But back in the day, K and I worked together in a restaurant. The guy in question worked with us as well.

Just recently, K and I were talking about my Sip and Go Girl media EMPIRE and the website. I don’t normally change or disguise names, but this time I will.

Reading your stories got me thinking of my own experiences and to this day the one that confuses me the most is G. Clearly there was chemistry between us but he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend. Anyway I found him on Facebook and I was delighted. We exchanged a few messages, had a conversation over Facebook chat, and then nothing. It’s as if I dropped off the face of the earth. Clearly he wants nothing to do with me. I don’t know why I am still confused by it!

Well K, “G was just too into you.”

G carried a torch for K. I remember after she moved away, he would ask me about her and look a little wistful.

G is married now and has at least one child. Of course he’s not going to reconnect with her. The chatter is merely going to bring up thoughts of “what if” for G.

My other friend M has a similar tale. We all worked together. We all moved on and life eventually took M to a marriage and two daughters.

She told me recently how she had requested C as a Facebook friend but was ignored by him. She’s concerned she did something to make C angry.

Yes, in a way she did. He loved her but they never moved forward in the relationship and C’s angry he didn’t make a move. C too is married now and, again, he’s flirting with danger and his own heart if he lets her back into his life.

“I had hoped we could be friends but ah, whatever. I could never figure him out.”

There is nothing for K and M to figure out.

G and C loved and lost. Trying to forge new connections with the ones that got away is just going to be painful for them.