I’m on Facebook and have 520 friends.
On The DL has 737.
Wild One has 489.
High Hopes has 478.
Facebook is a busy place. And it lends a whole new dimension to relationships.
No, I’m not talking about Facebook as a dating site. Despite what my friend Gary says, the social media giant is not the new single’s scene.
Okay Gary might be kind of right. A 2008 Pew Internet and American Life Project shows one in five adults use Facebook for flirting.
In any case, there’s an element Facebook gives to dating that didn’t exist back in the day.
It’s what I call “Wait. Who Is That Person?”
Let’s say you’ve met someone. You look for that person on Facebook and request him or her as a friend. Or perhaps the other person requests you. You become friends in a virtual world.
Now you see major and minor players in this person’s life.
Here’s one post I grabbed from my friend Justin’s page. I changed the poster’s name and other details:
“Erica Garchon Lewis: Hey Good Looking, sorry I’ve been out of touch. Just trying to get through a busy time at work right now. Miss your messages! Hope things are good. ooxx”
Wait. Who Is That Person? Is she a girlfriend? A wife? A lover? A cousin? A buddy? A buddy with benefits?
If I were someone scoping out Justin as a romantic partner I might be more than curious. Even worse is if the profile pic of the poster is sexy or shows the puckering of lips to make the kissy kissy face.
Some people do use Facebook to fuel insecurity. One boyfriend went through .JPG "binoculars")
my photos and then demanded to know why one or two certain fellas appeared more than once or at all. He posted snarky comments on pics.
Yes, I like knowing what people are up to on Facebook. At the worst I am a little voyeuristic and at the best I love sharing photos of cool concerts or vacations or keeping in touch with friends I’ve known since Jimmy Carter was president.
But I try not to get bent out of shape by what I see online. It’s not worth the emotional energy or time to freak out like that.
Still, whether you’re the reader or poster, be wary of what’s written on the Wall.
“Wait. Who Is That Person?”
Hi Sip and Go Girl, I just want to tell you how much I am enjoying “Sip and Go Girl”!!! I look every day for the new writings! I love them all, especially the relationship blogs!…
One more thing about the relationship blogs. It made me think of this one date I had about a year after my divorce from my ex. I met the guy at the roller skating rink!! He was the cop on duty during the evening sessions if you can believe it. He asked me out to dinner and I said yes. I thought, “how cool”, I’m going out with a policeman!!! He came to my door and when I opened it I just about fainted!!!!! (It was winter) He had on pants that were to short, white socks, and best of all, a navy blue sweater completely covered in those stupid fuzzy balls. Translation: this must have been a Christmas gift from his Grandmother when he was in fourth grade!!!!! Here’s how shocking this was to me…it would be like finding out your Navy Seal tough guy neighbor was a cross dresser!!!!!!! I was SO embarrassed to be seen with this guy. We went to dinner and I didn’t even take off my winter coat!!!!!! That was a first and last date!!!!! I laugh now!!!
Sip and Go Girl, oooh fb can be a tool for checking out new boyfriends… If i were single i’d b all over that! But I’m married. I do like looking at cat posts, seeing my friends kids grow before my eyes and checking in on friends happenings on the feed. I love funny stuff to and dog pics.