Dennis is the first fella I met online and then met in person for a sip and go after my divorce was final.

I was ready to meet and greet folks. I was seeking diversion and distraction but not a boyfriend.

I didn’t know what to expect from an online date. But I suppose I hadn’t expected a tightly organized conversation with clearly delineated topics for discussion and explanation.

Dennis and I met at a Starbucks, of course, one mild October evening.

I immediately sensed he was nervous. He had a staccato-like laugh that bordered on a giggle. He also kept brushing at his nose.

I gave him a hug like he was an old friend and he relaxed considerably.

We ordered our espresso drinks and sat down at an inside table against a wall.

He immediately began what I would call Topic One: My Background. He cleared his throat and began to speak.

“So let me tell you about my background. I was born in Kentucky.”

I wanted to laugh and quote “The Jerk” starring Steve Martin. But I resisted both urges.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfAvQp-Uk5I

It was at this point I would have interjected with, “Oh wow. How did you end up here in this city and state?” However, he kept barreling through Topic One without taking a breath.

I then heard about his childhood, how he met his now ex-wife, started a career in nursing, the birth of his children, why his marriage ended, and more.

I could write a biography of Dennis.

I was waiting for him to ask me about my life and background. Instead he started Topic Two: Relationships.

“So I guess this brings us to now. I just stopped dating a woman about three-and-a-half weeks ago. What are you looking for?”

I told him I had only recently started dating after my divorce.

He looked concerned.

“How long has it been?”

“Six months,” I said. “We were separated for more than a year.”

Dennis’ eyebrows came together. “Oh do you feel ready for a relationship?”

“I’m not looking for the next Mr. Sip and Go. I’m just out meeting people.”

“Do you want to date me? Do you like picnics?”

I told him I liked picnics well enough. But I stumbled over my answer to his first question.

“I don’t know Dennis. Like I said, I’m just out to meet new people.”

He seemed crestfallen.

I left that very first online date feeling like I was a library book for Dennis. He had just returned one and now had decided to browse the shelves once again.

“Oh,” he seemed to say, “Here’s a book called Sip and Go Girl that seems smart, funny, and friendly. I think I’ll use my library card to take out this one.”

I chose to stay on the shelf.