There’s a scene in the “Sex and The City” movie that I’ve been thinking about recently.

Charlotte and Carrie are furniture shopping. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the movie, at this point Charlotte is pregnant after a long battle with infertility, Carrie has been stood up at the altar, and Miranda’s husband Steve slept with another woman.

Charlotte says, “Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You’re good people and you two both got shafted. I’m so happy and… something bad is going to happen.” Carrie responds with, “Sweetie, you shit your pants this year. Maybe you’re done.”

It’s a comical conversation especially when you remember the scene in Mexico where Charlotte has an unfortunate run-in with the water.

But her fear is very real for a lot of people. This includes me. What bad thing will happen next?

Can you ever really be at peace when you’re used to turmoil and drama and working overtime to keep a relationship going with the wrong guy? Does underlying anxiety and need to control ever disappear?

While I do think some people are just wired that way, I think it is possible to at least calm that fear.

The anxiety only goes away when you feel truly confident in who you are and know that you are strong enough to overcome any obstacle if that shoe drops.

It doesn’t matter if you get that confidence through meditation, religion, or a professional therapist or life coach. For me, it has taken nearly a year of therapy, self-confidence boosting, and a healthy strong relationship to help calm my fears.

The method doesn’t matter nearly as much as the outcome. You have to retrain your mind to believe in yourself again. Sure I still stress from time to time, even when logically I know there’s nothing to stress about.

But that’s all part of the healing process. It’s a long road of being broken down and built back up into a stronger, better you.

Do that and the next time the shoe drops, you’ll not only be there to catch it but maybe even throw it back too.