By: On the DL
Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
It’s a saying we’ve all heard at one point or another, and it can relate to a variety of situations:
I’ve followed that advice all my life. I plan everything I can and try to have at least one or two alternative plans just in case that first one doesn’t work.
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“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” –Ambrose Redmoon
I was sitting with a coworker recapping her busy weekend. She just recently started hanging out with a new guy and so far things are going great. She’s happy, excited and just plain smitten. I haven’t seen her smile this much in months.
She was sitting relaxed in her office chair, looking up with a smile as she recounted each event with diligent accuracy to make sure she didn’t miss any detail. But she suddenly stopped and said, “It was a perfect weekend, and I’m really happy. But I did something bad. I broke the rules.”
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Have you ever envied another person’s romantic relationships? You looked at this seemingly-perfect couple and thought, “What I wouldn’t give to have a love like that.” They’re always smiling on Facebook and maybe affectionate in public. They’re planning their lives together and if they’re not married then they seem on the path toward wedded bliss.
I’ve seen those couples and known two of them quite well actually. You can imagine I was recently stunned when both pairs split. Both couples were engaged to be married and from the outside, they looked perfect. I’ll admit I even envied them at times and assumed life couldn’t get any better for them.
As cliché as it sounds, it just goes to show things aren’t always what they seem.
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Do something you want to do.
That’s what my therapist told me as I sat sobbing on her couch during one of our bi-weekly sessions.
It has been about eight months since I stopped going to see her and I can tell I’m so much stronger and healthier than I was then. But I still struggle with those words to this day.
I’ve lived almost my entire life trying to please others: my parents, my boyfriends my teachers, my bosses. I realized during therapy that I’d put myself pretty low on the totem pole of priorities. So being faced with the challenge of doing something I wanted was a little daunting.
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I tend to be the type who overbooks myself with work time, volunteer time, gym time, friend time, and family time. You name it and it’s probably on my schedule.
I like being busy. I keep on track and the moments just fly past me. But I’ve realized recently that sometimes you just need to recharge and go reset the body and the mind.
The other day I worked an 11-hour shift with no break and no lunch. I was exhausted by the end of it. I felt like I’d been literally beaten.
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Leap and the net will appear
I’ve heard and seen this quote several times in a variety of settings. When I do hear it, I imagine myself staring down at the ant-like people on the ground while standing on a high ledge. I’m nervous, sweaty, anxious, scared, and trying to brace for the inevitable impact when I hit the ground.
If someone told me to “leap and the net will appear,” I’d probably tell him or her to get lost, but probably using much more profane language than that.
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I’m a planner. I always have been. It seems to be encoded in my DNA to want to know what’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen, who will be there, how I’ll handle it and oh by the way, what should I wear just in case the weather changes too.
Always wanting to be so well-prepared for whatever life wants to throw at me is a blessing and a curse. In my professional life, being prepared and planning ahead has lead to some amazing opportunities that I may not have had otherwise.
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We live in a fast-paced world full of opportunities for instant gratification.
You want the answer to a question? Google it.
You want to buy that just-released DVD or latest and greatest piece of technology? Order it online from your iPad.
You want to eat junk food at 3 a.m.? Drive a block to that 24-hour drive-thru.
I could continue listing hundreds of examples but I think you get the point.
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Different people have different reasons for dating.
Some are just looking for a good time, others are looking for their potential husbands or wives.
Why put effort into a dating relationship if it doesn’t lead to a wedding dress?
Still others are just out to satisfy their… well, let’s just call them urges.
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