My friend and fellow journalist Steve sent me a link to an article from match.com. The title?

Why “fixing” a man won’t make him love you.

I don’t know if he was accusing me of being a person who wants to “fix” people in order to make them love me or if he thought the article would be interesting for me because of the work I’m doing as Sip and Go Girl.

Either way, it was food for relationship thought.

I have no desire to fix people. That’s their job. I do, however, love using my intution and empathy to help guide people. Ask tough questions to get tough answers.

My biggest problem with that is that I am empathic and haven’t learned to fully set my boundaries. This means that when I know and sense someone’s emotions or issues, I take on that person’s emotions as though they were my own.

That’s a bad idea because at some point, the line between them and me begins to blur.

The great thing about being intuitive yet down to earth is that I can actually look objectively at what’s going on. I’m not so great at looking at myself objectively. I’m working on that too!

I’m savvy enough to know, however, that a man talking about his girl, parental, or work relationship troubles within the first few dates is giving me a red flag. It means I’m in the presence of someone looking for advice or sympathy.

Sorry gentlemen but you don’t come across sensitive and deep, you come across as someone who wants or needs a therapist.

I don’t want to fix you in order to win your heart. I will, however, take you on as a client and you can pay me to be your life coach.

Source:

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12298&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1371642