I’m an ambitious person.

I’m ahead of the game compared to a lot of other people my age when it comes to my education and career. I credit that to my inner drive. Sure there are days when I feel lazy and a bit unmotivated, but overall if I’m going to do something, I give it my all. I like to be the best.

That’s also true when it comes to relationships.

Like most people, I have some stubborn, lingering insecurities I’m consciously working to knock out of my system. It’s even harder when people say, “You have nothing to be insecure about.”

Even if that’s the case, the worry is still there. While I don’t want to make excuses, I think a lot of it stems from previous relationships.

I have a habit of over-dedicating myself to my significant other. It’s important to make him or her a priority. But I was throwing myself into that person, his likes and dislikes, his future plans, his personality traits. This was so he would look at me and think, “Wow, I sure am lucky. She’s by far the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.”

Now, there’s nothing wrong with giving a relationship your best effort and putting the real you into it, but it shouldn’t take all of you away.

It occurred to me I wanted recognition because I didn’t feel appreciated, valued, or needed.

So, if you’re in that hole, how do you get out?

1. Rediscover yourself.
2. Remember what YOUR likes and dislikes are.
3. What are your future plans?
4. What would you do or be doing if your significant other weren’t there?

It’s easier said than done that’s for sure, but the tough steps you take now will pave an easier road ahead.

You really do have to be yourself. Don’t lose yourself in the quest for love. As someone once told me, “Be you. If they don’t like it, too damn bad. Because the person you’re meant to be with won’t be able to live without it.”