I was out to dinner with my friend Justin late last summer when he made a big announcement.
“I’ve met someone.”
If I remember correctly, he told me he met her through a mutual friend. Justin then began to talk about how she had recently moved into a new home. He was helping her set up the place and had given her a DVD player as a gift.
I told him that was a lavish gift to give someone he had only recently began dating. He brushed off my comment by telling me DVD players are mere pennies nowadays. He then barrelled on with his tales of her neighbors and other things about this new gal. He sure seemed to have settled in so quickly with this woman.
Just a couple weeks later he changed his status on Facebook toin a relationship.His mother was gushing all over that.
I wanted to tell Justin, “Slow down buddy. You’re on the road to Breakup Town.”
Do not start the relationship as though you’ve already been married or dating for six months. I’ve done that to some extent once or twice. I’ve felt the need to be a massive part of a guy’s life even before the ink has dried on the restaurant tab to the first date we’ve ever taken. Tell me about your mother, your hopes, your dreams. All that information is too soon.
One reason it’s too soon to play house is because you’re putting too much weight onto the relationship for you and for the new significant other. You’re setting up a fall immediately for the two of you. Plus, the pain of a breakup is going to hurt even more than it might normally.
I was talking to another friend about his love life recently. Robert told me he and the gal have been going out for five weeks.
“I really like her. But I have a history of falling for women too quickly, blowing it, then getting heart broken. So I’m trying really hard to avoid that this time,” he said.
I’m jazzed for Robert! Slowing down is good buddy!
I heard from Justin recently. He and the DVD Gal broke up. He told me she engaged in naughty behavior with someone else. Justin is heartbroken and has taken to living temporarily like a hermit while the wounds heal. And while I can’t be completely sure of this, those wounds are going to take a while to heal.