While I was an undergraduate earning my bachelors degree in journalism, I interned at an organization designed to assist journalists and others with their First Amendment– aka U.S. Constitutional freedom of speech– rights.

After my internship finished at the end of the summer, one of the two employees at the organization asked me out. I said okay. Mark and I had our date at an Italian restaurant named Strings.

At the end of the night he asked me if I wanted to go out with him again and if I liked him. Yes, Mark asked me directly, “Are you interested in me?”

I said I was interested in him, but only as a friend.

He responded in great exasperation, “I don’t get it! You women are always saying ‘I want a nice guy.’ Well I’m a nice guy!”

I bristled at being lumped into a category. But I also knew at 23-years-old that there were other reasons for me and others wanting a second date than merely “He’s a nice guy.”

I want chemistry.

I can tell you what attracts me to a guy. I’m sure you could tell me what attracts you to a guy or to a gal.

I can tell you if I think someone is handsome, but if I leave our conversations with no real desire for another conversation then that might mean I’m not feeling the chemistry.

Am I a secret hopeless romantic hoping for the pitter pat of my heart when I see someone? Is it silly to want a little passion? Is it a waste of time to be excited about someone and the possibilities of what happens next?

Or should I look for someone who merely fits the criteria of a “nice guy?” A guy like Mark?