Have you ever envied another person’s romantic relationships? You looked at this seemingly-perfect couple and thought, “What I wouldn’t give to have a love like that.” They’re always smiling on Facebook and maybe affectionate in public. They’re planning their lives together and if they’re not married then they seem on the path toward wedded bliss.

I’ve seen those couples and known two of them quite well actually. You can imagine I was recently stunned when both pairs split. Both couples were engaged to be married and from the outside, they looked perfect. I’ll admit I even envied them at times and assumed life couldn’t get any better for them.

As cliché as it sounds, it just goes to show things aren’t always what they seem.

The lack of passion behind closed doors….

Turns out both couples lacked passion. That’s the “it” factor differentiating friends from lifelong lovers. They spent several years together, lived together, but somewhere along the way someone started living a lie in those final years. They knew deep down it wasn’t right but they were too scared and hesitant to make a clean break.

Now, they’re all back at square on and looking to other relationships for hope and guidance as they navigate the single waters once again. All I can tell them is to remember the lessons of their own experiences.

The fact is that reality often happens behind closed doors.