My ex owned the book called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”

I flipped through the pages of Richard Carlson’s book once or twice and read some nice advice including “Remember that when you die your in-box won’t be empty” and “Become more patient.” But I never considered myself a person who sweated the small stuff and thus I really didn’t dig into the book with gusto.

Turns out, though, that when facing certain trials I am indeed one of those people who sweats the small stuff.


I don’t easily freak out at things or events. I’m down to earth. I calmly worked as a caregiver to my mother-in-law Lee who I then saw dead in her bed one morning. Seeing her dead was an image I won’t forget, but it didn’t send me into hysterics.

In general, too, I don’t lose control. I’ve been a TV journalist who leaps into chaos and creates order even on the wildest of news days.

I’ve also done things as an adult like scuba dive. The weekend I was certified in Mexico, I faced poor visibility underwater, strong currents, high waves, and a scared and physically ill fellow student diver who I looked after and protected during his last dive. None of it was enough to make me worry although the instructor who certified me that weekend told me many would have panicked. I had “intestinal fortitude,” Jimmy said.

But sometimes it doesn’t feel like I have any fortitude anywhere, especially when it comes to what I perceive as challenges in my career or livelihood. It seems dealing with job security or my career is the biggest trigger to launching into freakout mode. In fact, I now see this trend throughout my life. It started back in my early 20s.

Author Richard Carlson 1961-2006

When faced with what I see as a massive upheaval or great uncertainty in my career, the simplest extra problem becomes insurmountable. For example, I’m over the edge and frantically texting my best friend if the lightbulb goes out in my living room lamp.

“The lamp needs a new bulb? What does this mean? Why me?”

Within the last two months I began to recognize threats to my livelihood as the thing that sends me into a panic. So I decided to change this thinking and reaction. No, I didn’t seek out the Carlson book or even call upon anything in it.

I merely decided that I deserve to focus my energy on more creative pursuits.

I remember that in times of trouble, factors I normally take in stride can start to trip me. Some factors will make me restless. Little things might annoy me.

If I direct my energy towards something trivial and irritating, I might win the battle but it ain’t the war. For a victory to be worth grabbing, it needs to be over something that truly deserves defeating.

Be big, be patient, get some perspective. And yeah yeah don’t sweat the small stuff.