We’ve all been in a stituation when we react in a dramatic way that’s out of character a little for us.
Last year, I was packed and ready to go for a long weekend of scuba diving in Mexico. My friend Randy–who’s also a diver– was picking me up at my place at O’Dark Thirty to drive me to the scuba diving store. That’s where we would meet with the rest of the divers caravaning during the drive to the Sea of Cortez.
I had placed my iPod on my little tabletop stereo to charge overnight.
iPod charging on stereo. Don’t leave it here, Sip and Go Girl
Although I don’t use the MP3 player often, I absolutely love and adore it for the boat rides out to the island. I watch the just-risen sun kiss the tips of the cliffs around the marina. The birds skim the surface of the ocean as the crew churns the Newton ’48 through the water. The air is clear and fresh. I take all this in while being lost in my music. It’s a religious experience that allows me the chance to meditate over where I’ve been, where I am, and where I am going.
“Knock knock knock.”
Randy had arrived and in fact was a little earlier than anticipated.
I had all my things ready to go by the front door and after a quick hug, we carried my dive gear and luggage down the three flights and into his truck.
We were maybe 10 minutes from the designated meeting place when I froze.
My iPod was still on my counter, charging.
“Oh my God. F***,” I said in a panic.
Randy was alarmed. “What?”
“My iPod. I forgot my iPod. Oh my God. F***.”
“Jesus Sip and Go Girl. Calm down.”
My hands balled into little fists and I slammed them down into my lap saying the F word over and over and over.
Randy looked at me wide-eyed at the same time he was trying to drive.
“Well we can’t go back now. We’re almost there.”
As the red haze cleared from my vision and I slowly emerged into reality again, I became acutely aware I had strangely lost control. I was quite embarrassed and smarting under what I figured was Randy’s harsh judgement.
After years of knowing me, he will now assume I’m really CRAZY.
Why do people sometimes get terribly upset about matters that most folk might see as trivial or irrelevant?
It may be because unconsciously or privately, we’re wrestling with something else big and difficult for us. If that issue is demanding enough, we might find it almost impossible to think clearly about it or to allow ourselves the slightest emotional reaction. The tension gets inadvertently channeled into an exaggerated response to some other apparent trigger.
In my case, constant rejection regarding jobs I was seeking, the uncertainty of whether I was moving to another state or staying in town, my changing relationships with people including Randy, and just a general fear and sadness all led to that moment in the truck.
Once we arrived at the meeting place, Randy suggested I ask one of the other divers to quickly drive me home and grab my iPod. I reluctantly agreed, secretly wishing my temper tantrum had never happened but knowing it was better for me to now “let it go.”
I quietly hopped into the back of the truck after fetching the MP3 player from my home. Our other buddy Mike was already in the front seat for the drive to Mexico.
They were silent for a second, looked sideways at each other with smug little grins, then suddenly burst into mocking but good-natured, “F*** f*** f*** f***!”
I think Randy even slammed down his fists like I had.
I once retraced 100 miles of a driving trip so that I could retrieve a certain article of clothing because my girlfriend< (at the time), suggested I bring it. After the panick subsided, and a the telling of a few lies about how close I was to the destination, I met up with her. The clothing made absolutely no difference in the evening's outcome, even though I brought it.
I'm confident that the sun would still come up and the air would be just as fresh, without the music playing in your ears. Instead of creating stress by staging the perfect setting, try enjoying it for what it is.